Saturday, April 02, 2005

Prague Stag Party Capital (so Washington post says)

"Prague is fast becoming the stag party capital of Europe, British mag The Sunday Times Travel reports. Yet the city has survived 'Jesuits, Nazis, Communist secret policemen and Soviet tank crews with its spirit intact.' The prospect of '40,000 beery blokes in comedy wigs and matching T-shirts' staggering into town every year is not going to break it. Let's hope . . . Can you say 'bioluminescent dinoflagellates?' You're soaking in them, Islands says, but that's a bright idea, because swimming with these light-emitting plankton is like being 'enveloped by millions of tiny lights.' Find 'em off Vieques, an island near the coast of Puerto Rico. "

Friday, April 01, 2005

The Spoof - Stag Night arrangements for Pretender's wedding

Clarence House, London; Friday 1st of April - More details of Prince Charles's forthcoming nuptuals are emerging as his official spokesman at Clarenece House confirmed today that newly-released pop music mogul, convicted sex offender and staunch House of Windsor supporter Jonathan King is to organise Charles's stag night party on the eve of the wedding ceremony on April 1st.

The night is expected to kick off around 6pm at Ye Olde Whores and Groom in Buckingham Palace Road, where up to one hundred personally vetted guests will arrive to toast the Pretender to the Throne with the hostelry's trademark cocktail the 'Slow Comfortable Screw' - so named after one of Jeffrey Archer's warders during time spent at Her Majesty's Pleasure, reflecting on issues concerning perjury.

Next, in accordance with the Archbishop of Canterbury's televised Easter address to the nation, Charles will then publicly repent his sins, admitting to personal involvement in laundering "God's Banker" Roberto Calvi's stolen IRA millions via Banco Ambrosiano and the Bogota Branch of the Riggs World Bank for Deconstruction and Embezzlement. For this transgression, Tory Party martiarch Ann Widdecombe will then administer a Cat O' Nine Tails lashing to the Pretender's rump before carrying out a compulsory Abu Ghraib-style DNA test, taking a circutitious route to the Pretender's gonads via his tonsils and duodenum.

Next, the pre-nuptuals party will head towards the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain at Jekyll and Hyde Park Corner for a ritual ablution in its healing crystal waters. Master of Ceremonies and Best Man General Augusto Pinochet will then perform a Druidic, solstice-style immersion ceremony whereby Charles will be tied to one of the Royal Parks Agency turbo-powered tractors and slowly halued through the effluvia spouting from this seminal tribute to his late ex-wife. At this point, the Royal Cavalry is expected to arrive with the contents of the day's stable produce, which will then form a ritual massage area for Charles to wallow in while the Blues and Royals deposit additional excrescences from Buckingham Palace's plumbing system on the atonement area. It is understood that the Prime Minister's lifestyle guru, Ms Carole Caplin, will then personally administer the ritual tantric pre-nuptual massage upon the Royal personage before treating the Pretender to a sample of her specialised talents in the field of aromatherapy.

Finally, the pre-nuptual party will head to Ye Olde Cockroach and Chippolata gastropub near to the Cuban Embassy where the following day's Wedding Breakfast will be served to an adoring crowd of 750 invitees including other members of the House of Windsor. The Stag Night dinner menu is expected to be masterminded by Jamie Oliver and key ingredients taken from organic remnants of his seminal recipies served at Belmarsh Pre-Preparatory School.

A leaked report in the London press today said the specialite de jour will be Roast Crow followed by Humbug Pudding.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

We've missed the royal stag night!

In this article the young princes claim we've missed the Royal stag!: "Harry said they had already had a stag night for their father.

'You've missed it,' William added. 'It was good fun.' "

Females on a stag night? Charles to have a 'Hag' night dinner!

Prince William and his sweetheart Kate Middleton, have been invited on a ski holiday with Prince Charles for his stag 'week', Prince Harry and around 30 of the royal friends are attending, a leading tabloid reported today.

Kate's presence yesterday in Klosters - her second visit with the family to the Swiss resort - shows how serious 22-year-old William is about her, The Mirror claimed. It also indicates she has the royal seal of approval.

At one stage the 21-year-old pretty student stifled a giggle as she sat next to Charles at a restaurant table, the report said.

Kate, who shares a cottage with William at St Andrews University in Fife in Scotland, also joked with Harry, 21, as the group headed for their first day on the slopes. Kate is daughter of Company Director Michael Middleton. Others on the trip include Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, her dad Charles, sister Santa and Santa's author husband Simon Sebag-Monterfiore.

Harry's mate Guy Pelly, once wrongly accused of introducing him to cannabis, is also there. And the group made a royal ascent up the slopes yesterday in a ski-lift called the Prince of Wales, its name emblazoned on the side.

The sag 'week' will also feature a stag night dinner to mark Charles's April 8 wedding to Camilla Parker Bowles.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Ken and Deirdre hold Hen and Stag night locally

IT'S been such a long-lasting love affair, full of drama, scandal and secrets, that we thought they'd never tie the knot. So the nation will rejoice when they finally become man and wife on April 8.

No, not Charles and Camilla. Although their royal register office do does coincide with the real wedding of the year - between Coronation Street favourites Ken and Deirdre.

The happy Corrie couple, played by veteran soap stars Bill Roache and Anne Kirkbride, look so in love at their register office ceremony, surrounded by smiling family and friends, that you'd never guess this was second time around for the pair.

They first heard the sound of wedding bells back in 1981. And, as Corrie fans know, both Ken and Deirdre have had their fair share of relationships since then...

Now, after all their failed flings, rocky romances and mad marriages, they have decided to give it another go and spend the rest of their lives together.

And when the wedding scenes are screened, soap fans are promised a real treat.

A Street source says: "We all love a wedding and this one is a cracker. There are highs and lows and some really emotional twists, both before and after the big day.

"Ken and Deirdre seem to have been around for ever and, love them or loathe them, they work brilliantly as a screen couple.

"One thing is for sure, their wedding day this time around will not be forgotten. It promises to be fantastic viewing."

Ken and Deirdre's recent attempt to get hitched was thwarted by the untimely return to Weatherfield of her roguish ex-husband, Ray. They had waited in vain for daughter Tracy (Kate Ford) to turn up at the register office, but called it off when they learned she and baby Amy were in A&E.

A car had bumped into the baby buggy. And Tracy was raging at the driver, unaware that he was the father who had abandoned her as a toddler, Ray Langton.

It turned out that Ray (Neville Buswell)was dying of stomach cancer and had returned to Weatherfield to say his last goodbyes and make his peace with Deirdre and Tracy. But while they have warmed to his charms, his presence has infuriated Ken - especially since Ray moved into the Barlow residence.

Ken was so angry with Ray for wrecking his big day and coming between him and his adopted daughter Tracy, he got uncharacteristically drunk one night in the Rovers, then gave everyone a piece of his mind.

Ironically, Ray plays a crucial part in persuading Deirdre to become Mrs Barlow again. She has been stalling, feeling it inappropriate to marry Ken while Ray is dying.

Our Street source adds: "He overhears Deirdre telling Ken she can't go through with a wedding because she doesn't feel right about it all. Afterwards, Ray quietly takes her to one side and urges her to do so. He says he would be so happy if they marry and that persuades Deirdre to tell Ken she accepts his offer of marriage."

Her decision sparks some hectic planning for her hen night and Ken's stag do.

For the hens, it's a wild girls' night out at the Weatherfield Arms. With the likes of Tracy, Frankie Baldwin, Liz McDonald, Rita Sullivan, Emily Bishop, Eileen Grimshaw and Sunita Alahan donning special T-shirts which show Deirdre's changing hairstyles over the years.

"There's a lot of sexual innuendo between the younger women, much to the embarrassment of Emily and Rita," says our insider. "And Tracy disgraces herself by slipping away with a guy she picks up."

Meanwhile, Ken's stag do in the Rovers is a much tamer affair, probably because he is surrounded by Deirdre's past conquests - her old flames Mike Baldwin and Dev Alahan, and her ex-hubby Ray.

"When Mike remarks how many of Deirdre's old lovers are there you'd expect Ken to go mad," says our source. "But he tells them that he's the lucky one, because he's got Deirdre to himself for the rest of his life."

They all meet up the next day - some rather bleary-eyed - at Weatherfield Register Office, to cheer on the happy couple. Ken's best man is his grandson Adam (Sam Robertson) who is Mike Baldwin's son. Then it's on to a reception in the Rovers.

Charles has a 42 person stag 'week'!

Charles and 40 pals fly out for week-long stag do.. but Harry, Wills and his girl start party a day early

PRINCE Charles flew off for a week-long stag do yesterday with his sons and 40 friends.

But that didn't stop William and Harry having a little last-minute warm-up of their own.

To get in the mood, they spent a night out practising for the rave-up at a leading club.

They partied at the Sugar Hut in Fulham, West London, with 11 pals - including Wills' 22-year-old girlfriend, part-time model Kate Middleton.

Kate, in a pink top and jeans, was constantly at Wills' side while inside the club, but diplomatically left 10 minutes after him.

The boys barely had time to sleep it off before - hours later - they and Kate boarded flights to the posh Swiss ski resort of Klosters yesterday.

That's where they were meeting their dad for a last fling before his marriage to Camilla on April 8.

The casually-dressed princes did not join Charles or his fiancee at Birkhall in Scotland for Easter.

The bride-to-be was there with her children Tom and Laura.

And Charles gave Camilla a lift in his private jet - loaned by billionaire John Latsis - after her flight back to London was delayed.

He then flew on to Zurich and was due to arrive in Klosters yesterday evening. New security precautions meant that William and Harry also travelled on separate planes out of Heathrow.

Harry arrived at the resort around mid-afternoon. The first sighting of Wills came when he was driven to a store to hire skis and boots.

A BMW 4x4 with blacked-out rear windows was laid on to ferry the princes around while their friends had to make do with a hotel mini-bus. Wills and Harry are believed to have planned a series of surprises for their dad's stag do.

Sources revealed they have booked one of his favourite restaurants for a dinner - and are preparing some cheeky speeches.

Among those invited to the celebration are Charles's long-time friends Charles and Patti Palmer Tomkinson.

He was one of the guests at Charles's first stag night - held at White's club in London in 1981.

The prince is expected to hit the slopes with his sons today. But he is under strict instructions from non-skier Camilla not to break any bones.

An insider joked: "The last thing anyone wants is for him to have to get married with his arm in a cast."

Charles, Wills and Harry are expected back next Tuesday - just three days before the wedding.

Stag Parties sleep rough!

According to this article stag parties may be sleeping rough in Scarborough!

"But there are also fears that rough sleeping in the resort may be partly due to holidaymakers or stag party revellers being stranded after running out of cash.A Scarborough Council spokesman said: 'It may be they have come to Scarborough and do not have the means to make it back to friends or family.'So we will help them go back if that is what they want. It is just one of a range of measures we are looking at to try and break the cycle of people sleeping rough.'"

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

William and Harry Plan Charles stag do

This article reveals: "However, Charles's sons are showing staunch support for their father and his bride-to-be. They are flying to Klosters this week for a pre-wedding holiday, and are even rumoured to be organising a stag party for him. Mrs Parker Bowles's children, Tom and Laura, have also given their backing to the marriage. As well as spending Easter with the couple, they will be at the civil ceremony. "